No awkward lesbian experiences without me
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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