guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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