ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
