CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
