I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
