who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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