..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
