Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
