my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
