My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
