HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
meet me or not, i'm out of control
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
