lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Randomize
