I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
