is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize