Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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