This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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