So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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