I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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