hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
