yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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