still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
