Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
