evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
How's work?
Spinning.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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