Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
