its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
