I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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