peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
