you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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