its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
