i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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