Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Sext me about skeletons
Randomize
