I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
