He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize