Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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