Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
