She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
