see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
