I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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