Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
