Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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