Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize