We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
