i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
