So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
