It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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