please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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