Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
