Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
