Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
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