i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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