she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
