i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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